swampy-

I am alone-stoned sitting in my bed. I have not been thinking about what to write but I really need to get words out somehow   * deep breath: This is 20% marijuana, 80% concerta & everything else anxiety and weird hermit-habits driven. I choose to only hang out with the same (personally perfect) people and do the same (personally acceptable) things / get fucked up every night / fight . wrestle . slap . box . climb . hop . (and love. every. single. second. of. it.) I sincerely do not think it affects me negatively at all other than feeling that I shouldn’t be doing, that - - - I am oddly inspired to pick up photography more - and I don’t even want to talk shit and say I have all of these jobs lined up because I don’t *exactly* but I could (—just have to fuckin’ dew it—) and that is what is liberating to me. A n y w a y ; [Tangent: digressing suddenly from one courseof action or thought and turning to another: The speaker flewoff on a tangent.] I am stressed out about going on the airplane on Friday | I guess I don’t like leaving California for weekends at a time and feeling alienated but ah ha I open my stupid eyes and realize I am in fucking Alabama and I can go fucking bone-hunting and shootin’ & graveyard-wandering whenever I please. Airplanes make me anxious. Deadlines make me anxious. My scattered bruises and cuts and motherfucking battle-wounds are all slowly healing -&- the human body is a trip. I think every level of pain (and healing) is morbidly fascinating ; cry more , live a little . ADD medication makes me anxious too, maybe (I guess if you say so). I miss some friends while some friends are opposite that spectrum & the lack of them in my life is strangely therapeutic to my spirit . Well, Jayme and I went through the car wash 30 minutes ago and his windows leaked and I might just upload that video now. That fish smells about done.

I can only lawl at all of the drama always snaking it’s way back into my life; tumblr ask box drama is my favorite!1 I suddenly have a new group of friends I’ve formed to love that isn’t a bunch of the same dramatic Anaheim Hills kids (minus very few leftovers). I know what shit has been talked on me; I don’t care. I don’t trust any of the people who fucked me over and they know that. I really don’t have trust in anyone except my best friend Jayme and also Joe. I love hanging out with groups of people who didn’t go to Canyon and don’t live in the hills. I love meeting new people who aren’t associated with any of you guys; it’s so nice. I am happy with my life now and have been for a while. Everyone else is trying to bring me down but it only is causes more drama for you guys, not me — heh heh heh. Early cinco de drinko party (with Joe Amy & Stephen) tonight in Irvine~*~*. Fuck bitches get money talk shit get hit etc.

so many drunken nights with my best friends, so many new friends becoming my truest of true homies, smoking tons o’ dope & beer pong and disneyland and bonding moments laughing til I cry getting WASTED at Disneyland with just Jayme and I and being hilarious the whole time. Lots of Cassidy’s boobs, lots of hotboxed cars, lots of Tim Burton and long hair and coca cola (hehe) and Hollywood and dubstep and blood and music. WELL SHIT. I don’t even care to write about the fucking awesome last 3 weeks I’ve been having. I have certainly been partying like it’s 2012. My alcohol tolerance is through DA’ROOF now. Isn’t this what you call a COOL FUCKING STORY BRO? I thought so. Okay bye. 

had another crazy booze-filled weekend with all of my friends. Last night being in the hottub drunk in the rain until 5 am with all of my best pals.

Nothing in order but highlights include: Tyler Jayme and Kyle jumped into the pool naked, Jayme and I being dark lords of beer pong and fucking shit up, walking alone from Kyle’s to Tyler in my soaking wet bra and underwear + boots & pea coat at 5:30 this morning, Tyler jamming with Michael and hearing his beautiful t00nz in person, a lot of rum, a lot of wine, Kyle questioning his existence as usual and freaking out, selling Beyond Wonderland tickets cause the lineup was lame, Cassidy being topless in the hot tub and me pinching her nipples with my feet, getting soaked in the rain and loving every second of it, beer pong in the rain, seeing 5 penises yesterday, making stop motions (kind of) with Kevin & going to in n out and getting to know him better, eating my first cheeseburger in a week (withdrawals), vicodin hazes, laughing til I cry multiple times (what the fuck else is new). 

Now I am laying in bed with my cat sleeping ridiculously in my lap & I’m going to watch An American Haunting while Tyler is at Michael’s house making m00zick with him again. I have so many photos to upload (and even more that will never be allowed to be shown, dicks and tits galore). This has been a COOL STORY BRO, over n’ out.

I’ve partied more in 2012 already than I did in all of 2011. I still pick marijuana over alcohol any day (or both together is how it usually goes), but alcohol has been a pal in 2012. I am able to down so many beers and so much rum it’s ridiculous now.

Last night I went to Newport to one of my best friends from high school’s house right on the beach (jessica ludwig) and we hung out with bums (fucking hilarious ones), watched the sunset and segway tours, begged for food  (and got it, BEST fucking croissants in my life) and went in the ocean at night while it was so god damn foggy and eerie and it was such a surreal perfect experience. Being in the ocean at night with nobody else (except your drunk friend of course) and fog surrounding you making the pier look extra fucking creepy in the distance….true happiness. My hair was so nuts after it dried. I miss the ocean and that aspect of summer. 2 weekends ago at Jessica’s house I drank more than I ever have in one night I think. I like that house.

That was last night…now, I can explain some of the fucking crazy night at Kyle’s party (sat). We all met Tyler’s half-brother for the first time (even Tyler’s first time seeing him in 6 years) and it was a trip because they look alike and you can tell they are related and it’s just nuts; but yeah, we all partied together (me, tyler, his bro & his bro’s friend, kyle obviously, cassidy, david, stephen, amy, ryan, jayme, kendra). I love that Jayme has a girlfriend now who makes him happy, and she gets down to dubstep with me once she is drunk enough. Kyle jumped in the pool, david fell in the pool and can’t swim and I had to go in and get him out, kyle jumped over the fence and ran into the darkness screaming (put a cig out on his arm too how fuckin metal can you get in one night?) went to denny’s at 4am with kyle and jayme (kyle was wearing his charmander shirt and spongebob pants).

The highlight of that night was definitely David being butt naked after falling in the pool up in kyle’s room while tyler was holding david’s naked body up and I was putting a warm pair of kyle’s boxers on for him and his dick hit in me in the ear and head multiple times while kyle was literally crying of laugher on the ground and cassidy was screaming LOOK AT HIS DICK THERE IS DAVID’S DICK EVERYONE CAN SEE IT. It was a bonding moment to say the least. Too bad garin missed out on that but whateva BRO. I love that fucker

24 hours at Disneyland: I have never been so drunk in my whole life at one point. Kraken rum will fuck your shit up. I talked to so many random people… I can’t even explain. I made friends in essentially every line. Jayme was so drunk by 5 am he was eating flowers and random strangers were recording him to put on youtube. I love my friends. Going to Disney again today with tyler jayme and jacob, meow meow meow.

Hungover as shit. Exhausted. I love Disneyland and I love my friends. I love Kraken rum. 94 proof. Drank almost a whole handle between me Tyler Jayme & Garin. Sang so many songs. Met up with Christina an Justin. I can’t begin to explain last night. I talked to so many random fucking people. Every line. Every ride. Bathroom line. Alcohol. Bye.

excision. long way home. hotbox the shit out of my jeep (tylerjaymegarin). amazing sex what else is new. sleep. cuddle. go home when Tyler goes to school. more cuddling. 3 hour nap together (Tyler NEVER is down to nap that long!!11). play with mice babies. smoke. tea & coffee. the office. doug. pj&j. virgin suicides. it’s 4:30 am. thnx 3 hour nap. later~~~*

Tyler and I got two mice last night. Mine is named Dantè and his is Spartacus (both males) — they are fuckin’ precious. I missed my other mouse that died in early 2010. Photo shoot today ~ nap time ~ babysitting (an actual baby) ~ This has been a public service announcement.

-my family who had been living with us the last two weeks left today (11am)
-smoked d0pe and had chipotle with tyler and cassiderp ~ my loves. (2 pm)
-sexy time round 1, jack the ripper documentaries (3pm)
-sexy time round 2, HH holmes documentary
-took photos at tyler’s stepdad’s award ceremony @ city hall for his recognition for catching the homeless serial-killer with his partners. (6pm)
-smoked d0pe pt. II & hung out at park #1 (7:30pm)
-watched blue ocean for the 3rd time, sexy time pt. II
-smoked d0pe pt. III, hung out at different park with justin & christina
-rofl’d lawl’d lmfao’d etc. now home on the interwebz what else is new okay bye.